Elon Musk tweeted his way onto the Twitter board – now what?

Ahahahahahah well. Longtime shitposter Elon Musk, who has a side gig as Tesla CEO, is on the board of Twitter, a stonk new meme, after filing the wrong form with the Securities and Exchange Commission. Huge contents.

A different-style billionaire might choose to buy a national newspaper with a storied past and reinvest in it, just as he might secretly test his cock-shaped rocket for many years before venturing into it publicly. . But despite owning Amazon, Jeff Bezos is somehow less poisoned by the internet as the same lord of Dogecoin. The true platform for brainworms is not The Washington Post, despite the best efforts of its op-ed writers. It’s Twitter.

Now, obviously, Musk has a long and storied history with Twitter, from SEC violations to defamation lawsuits to threatening reporters to steal memes. Do you think Twitter will ever succeed in moderating its largest shareholder and board member? Like, of course, Twitter spokesperson Adrian Zamora said they are “committed to impartiality in the development and application of its policies and rules” and that “our day-to-day operations and decisions are made by the management and employees of Twitter”. In practice, we’ll find out if our friend Adrian is telling the truth, right?

Because here’s the thing: I notice Musk is already doing some research on Twitter products, with hands-on help from Twitter CEO Parag Agrawal! Specifically, Musk is poll to ask if Twitter should add an edit buttonand Agrawal said the poll will have important consequences. I mean, it’s not tweeting misinformation or anyone’s home address or anything that’s a clear violation of the ToS – but it does suggest that certain operations and decisions, uh, can be taken by Musk, in fact. The best shitposter of the platform already has the keys to the castle, and he got them in a way that’s specifically a thumbs-in-the-eye of the SEC. We love to have fun on Twitter dot com!

Let’s talk about this form for a second. If you are, say, Elliott Capital Management, and you bought Twitter to set up a shareholder activism, you fill out a 13D form, in which you disclose the purpose of your purchase (eg kicking out Jack Dorsey, making Twitter more profitable). But if you’re a big institutional investor in, say, the fantasy company Ride the Lightning Capital, and you’re just going to passively own part of Twitter, you fill out a Form 13G. Musk’s purchase was disclosed on a Form 13G he filed the same day he signed the paperwork to join the board.

Now, I can’t speak to Musk’s intent. Maybe it was an honest mistake, I don’t know! I know he tweeted that SEC is an acronym, and the E stands for “Elon’s”. He is not above tweak the SEC – he’s gone 60 minutes to inform us that he does not respect it, you know?

If Musk lags, however, that’s clear. Like, maybe he’ll get a fine or something, but the SEC’s job is to protect shareholders, right? That’s why Musk and Tesla were fined for his “funded” tweets, but Musk remained CEO – removing him would arguably be more detrimental to shareholders than letting Musk yolo his little heart. Musk is precious! The disclosure of its Twitter stake sent shares soaring 27%, a nice little pop for a social media company that is becoming absolutely cluttered by TikTok and the company formerly known as Facebook. So if the SEC is like, “haha, you’re absoutely won’t be on Twitter’s board,” it’s probably wise to assume the stock will go down! And shareholders will be hurt!

You see, Twitter now has a fandom: Musk’s. Musk wandered Twitter long after it became a public company, is a prolific — one might even say egregious — user of its product, and likely brings a number of retail investors to its heels. There is not just that. CNN reporter Brian Fung noted that Musk also has the freedom to do battle with Twitter haters under the guise of “Elon being Elon.”

Well, I expect Twitter to double its Twitter status. Spaces has been a huge hit, especially with cryptocurrency curious. There are also NFT profile pictures. Musk, of course, is known to be enamored with Dogecoin, not to mention Tesla’s brief foray into Bitcoin payments for its cars. Maybe now that Dorsey is no longer CEO, Musk can get Twitter to accept Bitcoin as payment for ads. Maybe this will be the push Twitter finally needs to get rid of Musk-related cryptocurrency scam spam!

I wonder if Twitter will consider cryptocurrency users as its main customer base from now on, especially if they are more likely to pay for its products. Rather than focusing on acquiring more users, Twitter may simply be trying to extract money from its most lucrative users. It’s not this odd of a strategy – in fact, Musk’s former company, PayPal, described something similar in its last earnings call.

On a practical level: Musk also said he wants less moderation on Twitter, which, for example, may not be good for shareholder value, Platform points out Casey Newton. (Turns out most users love moderation.) But now that Twitter is a stockpile of memes, traditional measures of shareholder value, uh, may not apply. It is possible that Musk’s involvement will journalists less likely to use the platform, given his history of fighting with online journalists. I’m sure some people are wondering if Musk’s position on the board means he could have access to their DMs.

What’s kind of the crux of the thing, I guess? On the one hand: Musk has a fandom, and now Twitter has a fandom too. On the other hand: Twitter is known as a harassment platform, and Musk has indicated that he wants even less moderation. On a theoretical third hand: the SEC looms in the background. Whether or not people’s worst fears come true, this is revolutionary new territory for shitposters everywhere. Musk doesn’t just have the ear of the CEO – he can do his performance reviews!

Yet when you turn your hobby into your job, you run the risk of turning something that was once fun into a chore. One possible outcome is that Musk’s position on the board takes him away from shitposting for the exact reason many people spend so much time on Twitter in the first place: he wants to avoid work.

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